White, Pale White, Wrinkled White

White People are diverse, the GOP claims. Old white men are different then young white men. But the Grand Old Party doesn't judge people by the color of their skin. They have a whole host of other things they'll hate you for first.

Maybe its Just Me

Customer surveys are out about stores and retailers. Ranked 4th worst in "Displaying Price", customers ranked Dollar Stores. Dollar Stores. Doll-llar Stores. $1 Stores. Stores that charge $1 for everything were ranked 4th Worst for displaying prices????? People, its in the name, its a damn Dollar Store!

This is what happens when you watch Fear Factor. You become stupid.

Trains and Texans

Today's commute home was amazing because Hoboken's train terminal was closed. That's right closed. My train couldn't even get to Seacacus. Since we were still sitting in the Kinglsand Train station, I decided to take a photograph of the line of trains backed up at the station. I've Previously Blogged about NJ Transit banning photography, and my thoughts on the subject. Don't worry, this doesn't involve me being arrested. For those of you hoping I was, maybe I'm just teasing. No indeed, a man dressed like he was from Texas decided that I should know "You can't take pictures of trains in wartime". War time? Are we fighting Nazis? When did the rationing start? Should we be using less metal or oil or something? Wartime? Wait. No. You should first know how he was dressed. He was wearing black cowboy boots, a white cowboy shirt similar to this number, a string tie, and a big brass lone star state belt buckle.

All I have to say is, get the fuck out of my state.

Giuliani's Old Party

The official Repubican Party Platform will arrive with the convention this week, and Giuliani, the defacto mayor of New York, has had some problems with the platform according to this article. Specifically, Giulani is against parts of the plaform that espouse an amendment banning abortions, banning benefits for same sex couples, prohibiting civil unions for same sex couples, promoting activist judges that would repeal Roe V. Wade, and eliminating licsences for hadngun owners.

Giulani, like roughly 2/3 of the nation, failed to name any part of the official Republican platform he actually agreed with.

Meanwhile, last week Dick Cheney said he disagrees with Bush on certain issues regarding gay and lesbian couples. Specifically, Dick Cheney's Lesbian daughter has finally convinced her father she isn't evil. Dick Cheney is in a pretty tough position. If he wasn't so dead set against abortions, he presently could oppose to gay marriage, gay rights, and gay anything. Over all, its a pickle that leaves Dick Cheney wanting us to dig deeper into his connections with big oil, enron, and Haliburton rather than delving into the personal life of his family. Where's your Jesus now?

Not So Dumb

Some thieves stole 50,000 cans of Moosehead Beer. Police are puzzled though since the beer cannot be sold in Canada or shipped through the US. Maybe the police are confused because they drink whiskey: 50,000 cans of beer won't last a Fraternity a very long time.

I Love Fox News

FoxNews.com is running an online poll that asks readers what their view of protests are. 23% of people surveyed said they think protests are disgraceful. That's 672 out of 2880 poeple. While online polls tend to be wildly inaccurate, it does say something about the people visiting foxnews. 23% are so apathetic they wouldn't protest something because it was disgraceful? OUr nation is full of non-thinkers.

To Hell With Paul Wilmot and Pointy Toe Shoes

The Times is talking about the insurgence of Round Toe Shoes. Quoting the article: "Mr. Wilmot said he regretted the demise of "the fabulous, low-vamped shoes, as pointed as a steeple top" I can only surmise that Wilmot is a fool. Round shoes are hot on women's feet, and instead of making women look like derranged Elves. Indeed, the new look is somewhat retro looking and maybe that's why I like it. Or perhaps, womens' rounded bodies just look better complimented in curves. Just imagine if women wore the equivilant of this on their breasts or butts.

And if all this isn't enough, women could also just go barefoot.

But I'm Bob Dole!

John Kerry has shot back at President Bush's swift boat attack ad. The increasing standoff between Kerry and Republicans has even gotten the unlikely attention of Bob Dole. Dole defended Bush's intial ads saying "He's got himself into this wicket now where he can't extricate himself because not every one of these people can be Republican liars,".

No one really is surprised Bob Dole, a Republican is attacking Kerry, but it does seem surprising that Dole would first admit that some Republicans are liars, and simutaneously confirm not liars necessarily must be Republicans.

Some how the entire discourse revoling around the direction the most powerful nation on earth has devolved to question John Kerry's Vietnam War Record. George Bush was of course eager to participate until aids reminded him he actually had no vietnam war record because he skipped out on active duty.

Bush has defended his absence from the national guard duty, with sources noting that if Bush had never served his time in the national guard, he would have had little connection to Saudi Arabia's ruling family. Oil this week came near $50 a barrel, virtually proving Bush served his time in the national gaurd.

Dear Regional Rail Provider

Thank you so much for saving me, the customer so much money with your many cost cutting initiatives. Many passengers would not be able to afford to ride from New Brunswick to Philadelphia if the cost of a round trip ticket exceeded the current $23 fair. I especially appreciate saving the cost of the last train departing Philadelphia at 11pm on a Saturday night. After all, spending the night in Market East would be a better experience than say, Newark. Or Rahway. Also, thank you for saving money by not cleaning the restroom facilities. Besides, the urine and fecal matter splattered across the two stalls in the men's room keeps away the poor people. Rank smelling poor people hate the odor of fresh feces. Special thanks for saving me money by not providing facilities on cars during the hour long train ride from Philadelphia to Trenton. I have a few concerns though. For one, I wonder why your north bound train passengers must ride a train just one stop before transfering to another train? Or if you could, please explain why North bound Septa trains share a platform with South bound Amtrak trains. After all, I dont think many passengers coming from Philadelphia want to board an Amtrak train south. On the other hand, thank you for helping me less fat by putting the connecting north bound NJ Transit train on the other side of the Trenton station. And special thanks for having the train board passengers at the farthest end of the platform. And I know passengers in Newark really appreciate that you leave the first three cars on the train empty, so that when I'm jogging to make the connecting train I have to go even farther. Thank you also for closing the door on my finger. This was almost enough, improved only by the conductor yelling at the line of people trying to board the train through the only open door. Thank you.

Brotherly love

Mandee is the best girlfriend ever. She erik and i went to philly tonight to visit gary and then i brought the wrong schedule and we missed the last train to trenton. actually we could have taken a train to west trenton, but that puts us 3 miles from the ne corridor, and thats no good at 1 am. esppecially in trenton. but anyway, so we are drinking in gary's apt and its awesome. mandee wont dance with me because i dane like a tart. but thats ok. we love you nyc.

Princeton Tigers

Princeton issued a statement saying administrators there "were pleased to be recognized as one of many outstanding universities" but that formulaic rankings "cannot capture the distinctiveness of any institution or whether one or another university might be an appropriate match for any individual student." (source:CNN.com)

The Princeton statement also added, students wishing to apply to Princeton should recieve at least a 1550 on their SATs and have at least a 3.8 GPA. Students who don't meet this strict formula are wasting our time. The statement also added, professors at Princeton are prohibited from administering more than 35% of A's to a class, and this formula is necessary to curb grad inflation. But we don't believe in formulaic rankings at Princeton.

Can The Catholics Afford this?

CNN.com is reporting that a NJ girl's first commnion was declared invalid because her wafer contained no wheat. The girl is allergic to wheat and dogma requires wafers to be made of wheat. The Catholic church, with so many hordes of followers has proven once again it can afford to be more discriminating than other religions.

The Metuchen dioceses created a stir several months ago when it said politicians, in particular Jim McGreevey, who support abortion rights should not recieve communion. This practice alienated many moderate parishoners. In retrospect the Catholics really only needed to wait until last week to excomunicate McGreevey when he revealed he was gay.

Catholics have also come out against people who oppose kid touching. While pedophiles are a welcome addition to any church, those critical of the church's weak disciplinary policies can expect letters damning them to hell.

Win One For the OCD

GE, a maker of Washers and Dryers, conducted a survey showing that women do the laundry 70% of the time. But apparently, 77% of ALL respondants said that they did not do laundry because their partners refused to allow them to do it.

Obsessive compulsive disorders might keep you from having to do laundry.

Welches Wino

My brother has started making welches wine. I'm tempted to give it a go myself. We'll see.

Asses in My Future

Ass-vertise-ments is part of new trend in guerrilla adertising, placing logos and ad campaigns on women's panties-- and then having attractive women show it off in the middle of New York.

With the way things are going, I'll probably be designing a pair of panties for a candidate for public office; Just imagine a pair of undies with "McGreevey for Governor '05" over the ass of a hot, cut man butt.

Cape Cod

I spent the last six days in Wellfleet MA., on Cape Cod. Highlights:

I bought some books at several excellent used bookstores, including Berryman, Frost, and a hardbound copy of The Merry Muses. Also, on Patrick's recomendation, I bought Emma, and on Clayton's, Lolita.

I did not see the governor in Provincetown.

I ate two boiled lobsters, though on seperate occasions.

I drove past Mungerstown Road, Exit 60, CT., I-95

National Sales Tax

Bush wants a national sales tax to replace the income tax. Besides the fact that the very wealthiest people would be paying the same sales tax as people one welfare, this gives no consideration to internet commerce. Online sales sites would simply incorporate in places like the Cayman Islands, ship products via unmarked fedex packages and not collect sales tax.

This of course brings me back to dinner monday night. One of the party members, (who by coincidence is a Palestinian) stated that he was a Republican. Oh, how interesting, I think!

He explains that he just doesn't understand why rich people were penalized for earning more money. Of course, when I asked what government programs he'd like to see reduced or eliminated he had no suggestion.

The End of Civilization

People not content with sprawl now have a faux urban option. Crazy.

Stem Cells

Yesterday marked the 3 year anniversary on Bush's stem cell research ban. Some People have tried defending it, particular since Bush 'allowed' 60 lines of stem cells.

However, of those 60 lines, only 19 have been considerd viable for us in research. And of those 19, all of them were produced in conjunction with mouse cells, meaning they have been contaminated. Now, three years later, European and Japanese scientists have found better ways of growing stem cells, but American scientists can't use these lines of cells since Bush banned new stem cell lines.

The Alzheimer's Assocation predicts 5 million people will be afflicted with the disease by 2050. They will all be as confused as I am now why Bush is limiting promising research that could reduce or eliminate this disease.

Meanwhile while we talk about outsourcing, stem cell research has been a major part in pushing innovative scientific research to Japan and Europe where they do not have archaic thinking leaders limiting promising scientific research. Europe alredy Did That.

I never thought I would agree with a guy named Ron Reagan, but do as he says and vote for stem cell research, i.e. John Kerry.

Irish Civilization?

A new scientist now believes that Ireland was Atlantis. I know its hard to believe, but it could be:

Other Empires that have fallen, and have ever since been in a state of decay:

England was once a great empire, but since its destruction the Brits have been the little puppy that follows the United States around. Sorry, old chap, but its true. But the English aren't nearly as bad as the Italians...

Ancient Rome rule the known world, but whats left is a bunch of hooligans who can't speak English and can't get the trains to run on time. Sure, Italy is beautiful, but backward. The last 1500 years has not aged her well, but still, they are less decayed than Greece...

The Greeks may have done everything the Romans did, only first. Yet, they are even worse up than the Italians....

So why is it so hard to think the Irish had one of the oldest empires? That country is certainly in the greatest state of decay.

Don't Blame Beer!

Russians have discovered Beer. Now its the cause of the nation's ills. Or is it? Leave beer alone, you communist savages!

He Had Me At Hello

In this article, a reporter interviews a republican from Alaska who refers to "environmental evangelists", "easterners", and who wants to turn Alaska into the world's largest Walmart parking lot.

He's coming to New York for the GOP convention. Big surprise, considering he calls himself a Christian, son of a Christian, with five Christian children. He complains that Alaska is more than large enough for decades of development, and only the the clautrophobic new yorkers want it preserved. I sort of saw his point, that perhaps the 1500 residents in North Pole, Alaska could hardly cause enough damage in the 365 million acres of Alaskan frontier. After all, even if they each had a 50,000 square foot house--slightly bigger than Bill Gate's house--thats only 7,500,000 square feet.

So anyway, I was beginning to see his point. Then he referred to the earth as "God's Bounty".

So I say to you Doug Isaacson, go back to Alaska and die on the cold, cold tundra. If you want a strip mall in your back yard, you are more than welcome in the garden state.

The Good Soldier

I finished reading the The Good Soldier last night. It was a rather short book, and the first I've read of Ford Madox Ford. He is rather quotable, much in the way Oscar Wilde is, but not nearly as good. The narration seemed somewhat immature, but once things picked up, it wasn't so bad. I did rather enjoy the final 1/3 of it.

Why the Chinese Are Going to Destroy Our Empire

The reason is simple: Texas. I'm not just talking about their former governor and now poor excuse for a president. Texas, a state with one of the worst education records in the nation has the power to dictate high school text book cirriculums since they buy books in such large quantities.

This time they aren't even taking evolution out of the classroom, its sex thats under attack. A new textbook that is about to get approved teaches absitnance only. Nevermind that this sort of education has a proven record of higher teen pregnancies, the spread of STD's, and that teens are not less likely to fuck each other's brains out, but as a result of abstinance only, one suggestion by the textbook for preventing STD's is resting. That's right, getting enough sleep will according to the Texas approved textbook prevent teens from gettting herpes, crabs, hiv, and the preggers.

This sort of ignorance might be ok in the land devoid of any intellectuals, but since texas textbooks so greatly influence text books sold around the rest of the country, they need to shove it. By the way, the Chinese, those silly little communists, are heading to the moon.

Evil Multinational Corporations and 13 Year Old Girls

Three years ago Penguin publishing, best known for reprints of classic works of literature, printed a book entitled Katie.Com about a 13 year old girls' experience with child molestors. Unfortunately, Katie.com is a real domain owned by a different Katie. Now Penguin is trying to get thier greasy little hands over katie.com.

Penguin says Katie.com was never a registered trademark. That's fine of course, except katie.com is registered with ICANN and any idiot can check to see if a domain name is registered.

Everyone should feel sorry for Katie Tarbox, the 13 year old who's book is causing the stir, and Katie Jones, the rightful owner of katie.com is now expected to just hand over her domain to some internet safety site.

Well I dont really feel bad for Katie Tarbox because (1) she is earning plenty of money from her book and (2) her parents should have been more vigilant. (when was the notion of personal responsibilty dissolved?)

I do feel bad for Katie Jones, since its her domain that's been hijacked and associated with child molestation stories. If someone were making money off of ianmacallen.com, I would certainly be after them.

Its Funny Because Its True.

The wife of the Governor of Iowa, quoted from a 1994 editorial she wrote for an irrelevant midwestern paper quotes "The only way I can speak like residents of New Jersey and eastern Pennsylvania is to let my jaw drop an inch and talk with my lips in an O like a fish. I'd rather learn to speak Polish".

At first I was offended. Then I realized she was right.

Lynndie England

There has been plenty of talk of Lynndie England, the lady-soldier who posed in now notorious pictures of Iraq prisoner abuse. The best headline though comes from the Mirror.co.uk: TRAILER-PARK GIRL IN THE EYE OF THE STORM

Credit

For anyone who has seen Fight Club, once you get beyond the delusional characters and the fist fighting, the underlying premise revolves around blowing up credit agencies, eliminating debt and credit cards and consumerism. Identity theft allows thieves to open up credit accounts in other people's names and charge things they never pay for.

In some states-- but not NJ--security freezes are now an option. No one can access credit reports, i.e., open up accounts for credit. Since credit historys controlls almost everything now-- not just loans and credit cards-- but also car insurance and other areas where credit should have no influence on our lives.

The biggest problem with identity theft is not so much that people can steal your identity, but that credit agencies are allowed to report that you have bad credit even if you dont. I say that if we are going to continue in a society where credit reports determine everything from student loans to marriage, then credit reporting agencies must be held accountable for the information they publish. Credit agencies that print false information about someone's credit should be liable for libel. That would solve it.