Are Sweater Vests Coming Between the Sexes?
Let's be honest, men only bother dressing in the morning to impress the fairer sex. Sitting around in our underwear would more or less be the ultimate fashion expression in a male-only dystopia. Mens' fashion magazines have far more photographs of models sporting undergarments than models wearing clothes. Yet, once man discovered the loincloth, the male brain's fashion lobe ceased any further evolution (see also leisure suit).
So what's a fellow to do?
Like any ordinary consumer struggling in a celebrity driven culture, I decided to take my fashion cues from a television icon. I chose Chuck Bass, the evil upper east sider from hit tween drama Gossip Girl. I mean, I totally aspire to be a filthy rich teenager boozing it up in Manhattan, so why not mimic one I saw on TV?
Cue the Sweater Vest.
Sure, the sweater vest has long been the province of grandfathers and perverts, but Chuck Bass plays it up with grace and style. On the other hand, has there been a press event where New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine isn't sporting a sweater vest? I was left with serious reservations; I'm decades away from being a grandfather. So if I donned a sweater vest, would I be a Chuck Bass or a Jon Corzine?
I could think of just one way of solving the predicament: ask a lady. I urgently sent out an instant message, "Important Question: Are Sweater Vests Cool?"
But why stop at asking just one lady? I decided the only solution was to poll a few lady friends. Well now the whole world can benefit from my not that scientific survey. The results are in: 4 out of 5 women think sweater vests are cool.
Alright. I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe I'll rush out, make a quick purchase and put myself on the way to Chuck Bass-ism this afternoon, I think as I browse the websites of national clothing retailers. But wait just a second -- if 80% of women think sweater vests are cool, why is Chuck Bass the only bloke gutsy enough to sport the three quarters sweater?
Obviously the only rational thing was to go ahead and poll my male friends. The results: 4 out of 5 men think sweater vests are not cool.
Well that explains a lot.
So until that day society segregates men and women, I have decided sweater vests have a place in my wardrobe. After all, if I'm going through the bother of putting on pants, its only so women think I'm cool.
So what's a fellow to do?
Like any ordinary consumer struggling in a celebrity driven culture, I decided to take my fashion cues from a television icon. I chose Chuck Bass, the evil upper east sider from hit tween drama Gossip Girl. I mean, I totally aspire to be a filthy rich teenager boozing it up in Manhattan, so why not mimic one I saw on TV?
Cue the Sweater Vest.
Sure, the sweater vest has long been the province of grandfathers and perverts, but Chuck Bass plays it up with grace and style. On the other hand, has there been a press event where New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine isn't sporting a sweater vest? I was left with serious reservations; I'm decades away from being a grandfather. So if I donned a sweater vest, would I be a Chuck Bass or a Jon Corzine?
I could think of just one way of solving the predicament: ask a lady. I urgently sent out an instant message, "Important Question: Are Sweater Vests Cool?"
But why stop at asking just one lady? I decided the only solution was to poll a few lady friends. Well now the whole world can benefit from my not that scientific survey. The results are in: 4 out of 5 women think sweater vests are cool.
Alright. I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe I'll rush out, make a quick purchase and put myself on the way to Chuck Bass-ism this afternoon, I think as I browse the websites of national clothing retailers. But wait just a second -- if 80% of women think sweater vests are cool, why is Chuck Bass the only bloke gutsy enough to sport the three quarters sweater?
Obviously the only rational thing was to go ahead and poll my male friends. The results: 4 out of 5 men think sweater vests are not cool.
Well that explains a lot.
So until that day society segregates men and women, I have decided sweater vests have a place in my wardrobe. After all, if I'm going through the bother of putting on pants, its only so women think I'm cool.
1 Comments:
i associate sweater vests with a certain co-worker who shall remain nameless. and republicans. that's why i dont like 'em. why can't i comment anonymously on this blog?
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