Bye, Bye, Bank of America

My relationship with my bank has been on the rocks for months. I mean you, Bank of America. Tonight our little tit-for-tat took an ugly turn when I went ahead and cancelled the credit card they issued me.

I was very happy back in the day when I was a customer of mid-sized Fleet Bank. Fleet had ATMs everywhere I needed them-- mainly the civilized sections of the country, the megalopolis between Washington D.C. and Boston. And how excited I was for them to offer me such an extensive line of credit. And yet, here we are.

Bank of America bought Fleet (who I suppose in fairness, had bought a whole number of smaller banks on the way). And Bank of America's first threat was made when they sent a new card to replace my ancient fleet ATM card. Oh how I miss that ugly aqua-marine and sea-foam green card. It was, quite possibly the easiest card to find in a wallet cluttered with dozens of similar looking credit cards and identification cards and shopper loyalty cards.

Predictably, the new Bank of America ATM card was a shade of gold that matched at least two other cards in my wallet. Fine, I conceded, I'll use your gold ATM card. But leave me my green and silver Savings Bond Visa card.

Some weeks later of course, Bank of America sent me a brand new, shiny gold colored credit card. They may have taken my sea-foam green ATM card but I sure as hell wasn't using their ugly gold and blue credit card too. So I cut the card into little pieces and continued using the Fleet credit card.

I knew though that the Fleet Savings Bond card had a limited life. I could ignore the Bank of America's demands that I use their new card only as long as my Fleet card did not expire. I had more than two years to go.

Then one afternoon I was hoping to buy a product online. Unfortunately, my two year old collector's item of a credit card had no special code for added security. The number had rubbed off sometime after the merger of Fleet and Bank of America. I called up customer service and they assured me the only thing I could do would be to wait for a new card to be issued.

I told them not to bother, preferring to keep my Fleet Savings Bond card rather than whatever fancy Bank of America branded card they would send me.

Of course, a few days later, Bank of America had sent me yet another branded card, gold and blue. Again, I sliced and diced the card into little pieces, reassured that I had at least until 2007 before I would be using their blue and gold card. I did however, sign up for a new card with a different bank, partly to have a spare credit card, and partly knowing that one day soon I'd be cutting my ties with good ol' Bank of America.

And then that's when it happens. I log into my account online and notice that my card is no longer being referred to as "Savings Bond Card" but instead "Financial Premier." Whoa there cow-boy! I have a Savings Bond card, not a Financial Rewards card.

After a few frustrating minutes trying to access "My Rewards" in my account, I gave in and decided there was one inevitable option: calling customer service. Obviously I am loathe to get involved with automated dialing systems, but it seemed the only solution. After a quick skip to dial a human, I was, though unaware of this at the time, on my way to canceling my card.

The nice lady on the other end confirmed my suspicions: Bank of America unilaterally decided to give me a Financial Rewards card. Thanks, Bank of America, that kind of personalized service is why I do business with you! Indeed, thirty seconds later I was cutting up my card, even before the nice lady on the other end of the line confirmed the account had been cancelled.

So as it turns out, I'm in the market for a new card. I think the only real criteria that I have is that the card is not Gold and Blue.