Memo

The building manager must have stock in a paper company. The offices here have been inundated with memos, Re: package delivery; bathroom cleanliness; trash; parking; smoke free building. As if we all were small children. Well they've missed an issue that needs to be addressed. Don't worry, we'll take care of it.

TO: Adulterous Office Whores

RE:

All office employees should be aware that the constant extra marital affairs, sexual encounters, and general debaucheries ocurring on office property have reached epic proportions. This is a sex free building.

The roses / love notes / chocolates are excessive. The management understands your unilateral attempt to turn around the local economy through purchasing these goods but they are beginning to over tax our dumpster. Also, the low grunting noses being made in the late hours of the evening are disturbing some tenets.

Thank you for your time.

The Management.